GARY UNDERWOOD AND PRIMROSE THE GOOSE
“Hey.” said the goose. “What’s up with comforters, don’t people feel sorry for all the down they use to fill those things?” Primrose the goose said said looking at her friend, a stout Englishman with ruddy skin and a handlebar mustache. Who was a frequent visited to the pond on Witmore street.
“Being serious now, I have goose bumps!” Said Gary Underwood (his middle name was Alfred) “I must answer you with truthfulness, although I know little of the subject, I think using a goose for it’s feathers or for a meal is totally wrong, why a goose is a lovely bird, with elegant manners, except when it attacks humans randomly in it’s mating season. Why is there ever reason a goose would accost humans, who would want to interfere with it’s protectiveness for it’s babies or their eggs, although I have on occasion eaten a goose egg! I would never do so now as I am a firm believer in “Goose Power”- the national club for the concern and well being of the domestic goose.”
“Ok, you are so long winded said Primrose the goose, do you have to go to such lengths to show your concerns about us geese. I do appreciate it and all, but all I asked you was about comforters Gary, plain and simple.”
Primerose got to her feet and de-squashed her elegant features that had be squished on the rock she had been sitting. She wiggled her tail, and quickly, without warning pecked Gary hard on the back of his shin, and stood back laughing.
“Ha ha cluck click caw caw Gary Alfred Underwood.
“Ouch Primrose, why the heck did you do that? I should wring your ugly neck. I Am not talking to you again you nasty bird, and I will disband the goose preservation club, you geese are just not worth it. I quit!” Gary threw his bag of bread into the pond intending to feed all the geese at the pond. He kicked her making her squeal.
“I hate you people. As if I care about your stupid club!” Primrose shook her tail feathers in Gary’s face and slid into the pond.
“Next time I’ll bring my shotgun and blow you geese to tiny bits, and steal your eggs, so there!” He yelled across the pond.
“Oh fuck off you damn human, we don’t need your sympathy, we can hold our own and all you humans will have to make foam filled comforters from now on. Nice knowing you Gary, so long fare thee well.” She dove under the water leaving nothing but a minute ripple, and that was the ripple of her own laughter.